I found minor mistakes
in my translation or word-for-word of two texts of Śrīla Raghunātha Dās Goswāmī
-
In my
translation of Śrīla Raghunātha dās Gosvāmī’s 'Śrī Rādhikā’s 108 names-stotram',
śloka 22, name 57, I found a mistake I made in the word-for-word translation.
Suvṛtta
mauktika mukta nāsikā tila puṣpikā. "mukta" should have been
mauktika+amukta.
The Bengali editions
make it one word, mauktikāmukta. a-mukta = not free, so the pearl is not free
from the sesame nose, so it is attached. mauktika already means pearl. The ṭīkā
says tenāmuktam yuktam. So it is a-mukta (not free) which means yuktam
(equipped with).
The Gaudiya Grantha
Mandir-version is wrong - su-vṛtta-mauktika-muktā-nāsikā-ṭila-puṣpikā. having the word mukta
twice is punar-ukti, a repetition, which is a fault.
Therefore it is
amukta. The verse translation stays the same - Whose nose, that
resembles a sesame flower, is adorned with a round pearl
Then there is
my original translation of Vilāpa Kusumānjali
65, or it may have been done for me by Jagadānanda Dās back in 1983:
AYI VIPINAM AṬANTAṀ
SAURABHEYĪ KULĀNĀṀ
VRAJA NṚPATI
KUMĀRAṀ RAKṢAṆE DĪKṢITAṀ TAM
VIKALA MATI
JANANYĀ LĀLYAMĀNAṀ KADĀ TVAṀ
SMITA MADHURA
KAPOLAṀ VĪKṢYASE VĪKṢYAMĀṆĀ
ayi - O!; vipinam
- forest; aṭantaṁ - wandering; saurabheyī - of the Surabhī-cows; kulānāṁ - of
the herds; vraja - of Vraja; nṛ-pati - king; kumāraṁ - son; rakṣaṇe - for
keeping; dīkṣitaṁ - initiated; tam - him; vikala - agitated; mati - heart;
jananyā - by mother; lālyamānaṁ - being cuddled; kadā - when; tvaṁ - You; smita
- smile; madhura - sweet; kapolaṁ - cheek; vīkṣyase - seen; vīkṣyamāṇā - being
seen.
When will the
prince of Vraja (Kṛṣṇa) glance at You with His smiling face as He goes out to wander
in the forest with the Surabhī-cows, in whose care He was initiated, being
cuddled by His worried mother?
The words ‘smita
madhura kapola’ do not come out well in the English translation, and the whole
last line of the śloka seemed not properly done.
Kuśakratha's
version is better -
"When will
You be seen as You gaze at the prince of Vraja, His cheeks sweet with a smile,
as He wanders in the forest fulfilling His vow to protect the surabhi cows, or
as He is embraced by His mother, her heart overwhelmed?"
When asked, Satya-nārāyaṇa
Bābājī commented: Whose smiling sweet cheeks are they? Kṛṣṇa's or Rādhā's? Of Kṛṣṇa. vīkṣyase is in second person
singular - so it means "you see or you will see". vīkṣamāṇā = being
seen (feminine). So the meaning is: "When
will You (Rādhā) see Kṛṣṇa (everything else qualifies Him, including smita
madhura kapolam) while being seen or glanced by Him.
Then I asked Satya-nārāyaṇa Bābājī: I have another question, about the first half of the verse. Kusakratha says “..or as He is embraced by His mother, her heart overwhelmed?”, as if the cuddling by His mother is an alternative event, while Anantadas Babaji says ‘vrajendra-nandana go-samuhera rakṣaṇa viṣaye gṛhīta-vrata, se janya vana-gamaṇa–parayana ebong vyākula-cittā mātā yaśodā kartṛk lālyamāna’ - “Kṛṣṇa is cuddled by His worried mother BECAUSE he goes out herding cows.”
Satya-nārāyaṇa Bābājī replied : The "or" part in K's translation is wrong. There is no option described in the verse. ADB translation is correct.
Hence the translation becomes:
“O! When will You see the son of the king of Vraja, Kṛṣṇa, with His sweet smiling cheeks while also being seen by Him as He is cuddled by His worried mother because He goes out wandering in the forest to tend His herd of Surabhī-cows, in whose care He was initiated?”