In the last one of the silver jubilees (the jubilee of my leaving ISKCON was posted on Jijaji's now defunct forum back then, on May 20, the jubilee-day) the jubilee of my siddha praṇālī, now silver praṇālī. This is from my Indian diary:
December 3, 1982 — My Guru brother Nārāyan-dā comes into my room and says Bābā calls me upstairs on the balcony. Bābā sits there on the floor, wearing his spectacles and completing writing on a huge sheet of paper. He has filled it in single-handedly. He hands it to me and explains to me how it works. It is the siddha praṇālī I so much desired. I bow down to Bābā in gratitude and ask him: “Must I memorize all this?” Bābā: “At least your own svarūpa, the Guru’s svarūpa, parama Guru’s svarūpa and Prabhu Sītānātha’s svarūpa. Keep this between the two of us – don’t reveal this anyone, not even to your friends!” (Hence on this blog I don't fill in the details) I am surprised he gave it to me so soon, for when I took dīkṣā, just 2 months ago, he said I should first be purified by bhajana before becoming ripe for siddha praṇālī.
Above the siddha praṇālī he has written:
“The mental practise is to meditate on one’s own siddha deha and thus serve Kṛṣṇa in Vraja day and night.” (C.C. Madhya 22.156), and:
Bābā says it is written by Śrīnātha Cakravartī, a śiṣya of Advaita Prabhu, and explains the entire Gauḍīya siddhānta in a nutshell.
My American friend Madhusūdana later tells me: "Prabhu (Lalita Prasāda, his Guru) also told me once: "What do you need a husband for? Go into the kuñja! There is no time for this!"
It is noteworthy that Sādhu Bābā fully instructed me on all these matters on the very same day and never again spoke to me about this.
December 3, 1982 — My Guru brother Nārāyan-dā comes into my room and says Bābā calls me upstairs on the balcony. Bābā sits there on the floor, wearing his spectacles and completing writing on a huge sheet of paper. He has filled it in single-handedly. He hands it to me and explains to me how it works. It is the siddha praṇālī I so much desired. I bow down to Bābā in gratitude and ask him: “Must I memorize all this?” Bābā: “At least your own svarūpa, the Guru’s svarūpa, parama Guru’s svarūpa and Prabhu Sītānātha’s svarūpa. Keep this between the two of us – don’t reveal this anyone, not even to your friends!” (Hence on this blog I don't fill in the details) I am surprised he gave it to me so soon, for when I took dīkṣā, just 2 months ago, he said I should first be purified by bhajana before becoming ripe for siddha praṇālī.
Bābā: ‘By practising meditation on the siddha deha and siddha sevā the siddha deha is gradually developed. Whatever you always think of you will attain as you end this body.” As Bābā had already revealed, Prabhu Sītānātha Himself is present in all four rasas: sakhī-bhāva (Viśākhā), dāsī bhāva (Rati Mañjarī), sakhya bhāva (Madhumaṅgala) and vātsalya bhāva (Paurṇamāsī). Whatever you always think of you will attain as you end this body.”
yam yam vapi smaran bhavan tyajantyante kalevaram
tam tam evaiti kaunteya sada tad bhava bhavitah
(Bhagavad Gītā 8.6)
Above the siddha praṇālī he has written:
mane nija siddha deha koriyā bhāvana
rātri dine kore braje kṛṣṇera sevana
ārādhyo bhagavān vrajeśa tanayas taddhāma vṛndāvanaṁ
ramyā kācid upāsanā vrajavadhū vargeṇa yā kalpitā
śāstraṁ bhāgavatam pramāṇam amalaṁ prema pumārtho mahān
śrī caitanya mahāprabhor matam idaṁ tatrādaro naḥ para
The worshipable Lord is Kṛṣṇa, the son of Nanda of Vraja.
The abode in which we worship Him is Vṛndāvana.
The delightful method of Worship is that of the cowherd wives of Vraja (the gopīs).
The holy scripture the Bhāgavata is the spotless authority.
The greatest pursuit of human life is prema, love of God.
This is the opinion of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu.
This deserves our highest respect, care and love.
About siddha praṇālī and the first verse of Vilāpa Kusumāñjali Bābā says: “Rūpa Mañjari is not married. The word anāgata here means ‘your husband has not come yet, you are still a virgin. The kiṅkarīs have no kuñjas of their own because the sakhīs are hostesses to Kṛṣṇa and make Him enjoy, while the mañjarīs have a service function, and therefore don't need their own kuñja. We all serve in the great kuñja of Viśākhā-devī because Advaita Prabhu is Viśākhā." (Hence we also have no svabhāva.)"
My American friend Madhusūdana later tells me: "Prabhu (Lalita Prasāda, his Guru) also told me once: "What do you need a husband for? Go into the kuñja! There is no time for this!"
It is noteworthy that Sādhu Bābā fully instructed me on all these matters on the very same day and never again spoke to me about this.
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