A number of slight improvements or additions were made to my Vilapa Kusumanjali translation -
Corrections in Verse 2 –
STHALAKAMALINI YUKTAṀ GARVITĀ KĀNANE'SMIN
PRAṆAYASI VARA HĀSYAṀ PUṢPA GUCCHĀC CHALENA
API NIKHILA LATĀS TĀḤ SAURABHĀKTĀḤ SA MUÑCAN
MṚGAYATI TAVA MĀRGAṀ KṚṢṆA-BHṚṄGO YAD ADYA
Sthala-kamalini - O
female landlotus!; yuktaṁ -
befitting; garvitā - proud; kānane asmin - in this forest; praṇayasi - you do; vara - best; hāsyaṁ -
laughing; puṣpa - flower; guccha - a bunch; chalena - with a pretext; api
- even though; nikhila - all; latā - vines; tā - they; saurabha -
fragrance; ākta - anointed with; sa - He; muñcan - leaves behind;
mṛgayati - searches; tava - Your;
mārgaṁ - path; kṛṣṇa bhṛṅgah - the blackbee
(Kṛṣṇa); yat - which; adya - now.
Old
translation -
New
translation -
O Sthala-kamalini (land-lotus)! It is fitting that you are proud in this forest. You create excellent laughter through the pretext of this flower bunch. Even though all flower vines are anointed with fragrance, the black bee Kṛṣṇa leaves them now to search for your pathway only!
Explanation – The words ‘in this forest’ from the first
Sanskrit line are brought to the first English sentence. The word pranayasi means ‘you created’, and has
been added to the second sentence. The word ‘bunches’ has been changed to
‘bunch’, singular, as it is in singular in the Sanskrit text too. The word chalena, ‘by pretext’, has been added,
the word ‘vines’ (latā), has been
added to the last sentence, and the word ‘pathway’, mārgam, has been added there too. The word ‘forest’ has been
shifted from the end to the beginning of the translation. ‘blackbee’ is not one
word in English but two words.
Corrections in Verse 3 –
VRAJENDRA VASATI STHALE VIVIDHA BALLABĪ SAṄKULE
TVAM EVA RATI MAÑJARI PRACURA PUṆYA PUÑJODAYĀ
VILĀSA-BHARA VISMṚTA PRAṆAYI MEKHALĀ MĀRGAṆE
YAD ADYA NIJA NĀTHAYĀ VRAJASI NĀTHITĀ KANDARAM
vrajendra - the king of Vraja; vasati sthale - in the abode; vividha - different kinds; ballabī - cowherd girls; saṅkule - in the group; tvam - you; eva - only; rati mañjari
- Rati Mañjari; pracura - abundant; puṇya - fortune of great love; puñja
- abundance; udayā - the
arising; vilāsa - love pastimes; bhara - absorbed; vismṛta - forgotten; praṇayi
- beloved; mekhalā - belt; mārgaṅe - for searching out; yad - which; adya - now; nija - own; nāthayā - by the Queen; vrajasi - you go; nāthitā - requested; kandaram
- to a cave.
Old
translation -
O Rati
Mañjari! You are the most fortunate cowherdgirl in the abode of the king of
Vraja! When Your mistress (Śrī Rādhikā) forgets Her beloved sash of bells due
to absorption in Her loveplay, She asks You to fetch it from the cave where She
left it!
New
translation –
Explanation – The word adya, ‘now’, was overlooked. The ‘different
groups of cowherd girls live’ was a first, separate, topic.
YO MĀṀ DUSTARA GEHA NIRJALA MAHĀ-KŪPĀD APĀRA KLAMĀT
SADYAḤ SĀNDRA DAYĀMBUDHIḤ PRAKṚTITAḤ SVAIRĪ KṚPĀ
RAJJUBHIḤ
UDDHṚTYĀTMA SAROJA NINDI CARAṆA PRĀNTAṀ PRAPADYA
SVAYAṀ
ŚRĪ DĀMODARA SĀCCAKĀRA TAM AHAṀ CAITANYA-CANDRAṀ BHAJE
Old
translation -
New
translation -
I worship the moon-like Lord Caitanya, who, with the ropes of His mercy, suddenly pulled me out of the deep waterless well of household life, which is so difficult to come out of, and is full of limitless exhaustion, gave me shelter at the tips of His feet, that defeat the beauty of lotus flowers, and entrusted me into the care of Śrī Svarūpa Dāmodara.
Explanation – The word klama does not mean misery but
exhaustion.
Correction in Verse 7 –
ATY UTKAṬENA NITARĀṀ VIRAHĀNALENA
DANDAHYAMĀNA-HṚDAYĀ KILA KĀPI DĀSĪ
HĀ SVĀMINI KṢAṆAM IHA PRAṆAYENA GĀḌHAM
ĀKRANDANENA VIDHURĀ VILAPĀMI PADYAIḤ
ati - extreme; utkaṭena - great; nitarāṁ - always; viraha
- separation; analena - by the fire; dandahyamāna - being burned; hṛdayā -
a girl's heart; kila - indeed;
kāpi - some; dāsī -maidservant; hā -
alas!; svāmini - mistress; kṣanaṁ - for a moment; iha - here; praṇayena - with love; gāḍham
- intense; ākrandanena - by crying; vidhurā - suffering; vilapāmi - I lament; padyaiḥ - with verses.
Old
translation –
O Svāmini (my mistress Rādhe)! The heart of this maidservant constantly burns in a great fire of separation from You. Being thus afflicted, and crying with great love, I lament in the following verses!
New
translation –
O Svāmini (my mistress Rādhe)! The heart of this maidservant constantly burns in a great fire of separation from You. Being thus afflicted, and crying with great love, I lament here in the following verses!
Explanation – The word iha, here, at Rādhākuṇḍa, was
overlooked.
ATI SULALITA LĀKṢĀŚLIṢṬA SAUBHĀGYA MUDRĀ
TATIBHIR ADHIKA TUṢṬYĀ CIHNATĪ KṚTYA BĀHŪ
NAKHA DALITA HARIDRĀ GARVAGAURI PRIYĀṀ ME
CARAṆA-KAMALA SEVĀṀ HĀ KADĀ DĀSYASI TVAM
ati - very; sulalita - charming; lākṣā - red footlac; śliṣṭa - anointed with; saubhāgya - of fortune; mudrā - signs; tatibhiḥ - by a multitude of; adhika - more; tuṣṭyā - by satisfaction; cihnatī - marking; kṛtya - doing; bāhū - arms; nakha - nails; dalita - scratched; haridrā - turmeric; garva - pride; gauri - golden; priyaṁ - dear; me - unto me; caraṇa - feet; kamala - lotus; sevāṁ - service; hā - alas!; kadā - when; dāsyasi - will give; tvam - You.
Old
translation –
New
translation –
Explanation – The word priyāṁ in the text was not translated
and is in 2nd case female, meaning it must apply to sevāṁ, which is also 2nd case
female.
PĀNĪYAṀ CĪNA-VASTRAIḤ ŚAŚIMUKHI ŚANAKAIḤ RAMYA
MṚDVAṄGA YAṢṬER
YATNĀD UTSĀRYA MODĀD DIŚI-DIŚI VICALAN NETRA
MĪNĀÑCALĀYĀḤ
ŚROṆAU RAKTAṀ DUKŪLAṀ TAD APARAM ATULAṀ CĀRU NĪLAṀ
ŚIRO'GRĀT
SARVĀṄGEṢU PRAMODĀT PULAKITA VAPUṢĀ KIṀ MAYĀ TE
PRAYOJYAM
pānīyaṁ - drinking water; cīna - thin, fine, silk; vastraiḥ - with clothes; śaśimukhi – moon-faced girl; śanakaiḥ - gradually; ramya - beautiful; mṛdu - tender; aṅga-yaṣṭeḥ
- of the limbs; yatnāt - carefully; utsārya - drying; modāt - from joy; diśi diśi
- in all directions; vicalan -
moving; netra - eyes; mīna - fish-like; añcalāyāḥ - corners; śroṇau
- on the hips; raktaṁ - red; dukūlaṁ - silken garment; tad - that; aparam - other; atulaṁ -
incomparable; cāru - beautiful; nīlaṁ - blue; śira - head; agrāt - from
the top; sarvāṅgeṣu - over all the
limbs; pramodāt - of ecstasy; pulakita - horripilating; vapuṣā - with the body; kiṁ - what; mayā - by me; te - Your;
prayojyaṁ - for the sake.
Old translation –
Explanation – The cloth is fine of course, but silk is the only dictionary meaning for the word cīna, so it should be fine silk. The word 'petticoat' is strictly speaking not in the original Sanskrit text, though it is a petticoat, so it was replaced with the word 'garment', and 'petticoat' placed after it, between brackets. the word aparam was not included in the original translation and has been added now as 'another', instead of 'an'. The word sārī is also not really in the original Sanskrit text and has been placed in between brackets, as explanation of 'blue cloth'.
SUBHAGA
MṚGAMADENĀKHAṆḌA ŚUBHRĀṀŚUVAT TE
TILAKAM IHA
LALĀṬE DEVI MODĀD VIDHĀYA
MAṢṚṆA GHUSṚṆA
CARCAM ARPAYITVĀ CA GĀTRE
STANA-YUGAM API
GANDHAIŚ CITRITAṀ KIṀ KARIṢYE
subhaga - beautiful; mṛga
madena - with musk; akhaṇḍa -
full; śubhrāṁśuvat - like a moon; te - Your; tilakam - tilaka; iha -
here; lalāṭe - on the forehead; devi - O Goddess!; modāt - out of joy; vidhāya -
placing; masṛṇa - shining; ghusṛṇa - kuṅkuma; carcam - ointment; arpayitvā - placing; ca - and; gātre - on the body;
stana-yugam - on both breasts; api
- even; gandhaiḥ - with perfumes; citritaṁ - designs; kiṁ - what; kariṣye - will do.
New
translation -
O Goddess, may I then joyfully make a beautiful full-moon-like tilaka on Your forehead with musk, anoint Your body with fine glistening saffron and make designs on Your breasts with perfumes?
Explanation – The śloka’s first word, subhaga, or ‘beautiful’ was forgotten in the translation. subhaga can also mean ‘auspicious’ but
‘beautiful’ applies better here.
‘vermilion’
is changed to ‘saffron’. saffron is ghusṛṇa
in Sanskrit and vermilion is sindūra
(the hair-part powder).
The
words 'with musk' are added to 'on Your forehead' as I overlooked the word mṛgamadena in the text. I placed it in
the word-for-word back in 1987, but somehow never placed the word 'musk' in the
verse translation.
Correction in verse 33:
RĀSOTSAVE YA IHA GOKULA-CANDRA BĀHU
SPARŚENA SAUBHAGA-BHARAṀ NITARĀM AVĀPA
GRAIVEYAKEṆA KIMU TAṀ TAVA KAṆṬHA-DEŚAṀ
SAṀPŪJAYIṢYATI PUNAḤ SUBHAGE JANO'YAM
rāsa utsave - in the
Rāsa-dance festival; ya - who; iha - here; gokula candra - the moon of Gokula, or the pleaser of the senses; bāhu - arm; sparśena - by the touch; saubhaga
- fortune; bharaṁ - full; nitarām -fully; avāpa - attained; graiveyakeṇa
- by a so called neck-ornament; kiṁ -
whether; u - indeed; taṁ - that; tava - Your; kaṇṭha-deśaṁ
- area of Your neck; saṁpūjayiṣyati -
will fully worship; punaḥ - again; subhage - O beautiful, or fortunate
girl!; janaḥ - person; ayam - this.
Old
translation –
O Subhage (beautiful, fortunate girl)! Will this person one day worship Your neck, which attained all good fortune when it was touched by Kṛṣṇa, the moon of Gokula, during the festival of the Rāsa-dance, with a Graiveya-ornament?
New
translation –
O Subhage (beautiful, fortunate girl)! Will this person one day worship Your neck, which attained all good fortune when it was touched by the arm of Kṛṣṇa, the moon of Gokula, during the festival of the Rāsa-dance, with a Graiveya-ornament?
Explanation - bāhu, the arm, was always in the word-for-word translation but had been forgotten in the verse translation. It is added now.
It seems to me that Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī was inspired to write this verse by Śrīmad-bhāgavata’s verse 10.47.60 - rāsotsave ’sya bhuja-daṇḍa-gṛhīta-kaṇṭha labdhāśiṣāṁ ya udagād vraja-sundarīnām – “In the Rāsa-festival the beautiful girls of Vraja received the blessing of being embraced by the neck by Śrī Kṛṣṇa’s rod-like arms.”
Correction in verse 35:
PRĀNTA-DVAYE PARIVIRĀJITA GUCCHA-YUGMA
VIBHRĀJITENA NAVA KĀÑCANA ḌORAKEṆA
KṢĪṆAṀ TRUṬATY ATHA KṚŚODARI CED ITĪVA
BADHNĀMI BHOS TAVA KADĀTI BHAYENA MADHYAM
prānta - at the end; dvaye
- both; parivirājita - manifest; guccha - tassles; yugma - pair; vibhrājitena -
shining; nava - new; kāñcana - golden; ḍorakena - with a string; kṣīṇaṁ
- thin; truṭati - it breaks; atha - and then; kṛśodari - O slender girl!;
cet - if; iti - thus; iva - as if; badhnāmi - I will bind; bho -
O!; tava - Your; kadā - when; ati - very
much; bhayena - with fear; madhyam - middle.
Old
translation –
O Kṛśodari (slender girl)! Your waist is so thin that I'm very much
afraid that it will break when I tie it with a golden string with tassles at
both ends!
New
translation –
Explanation – nava, new, and vibhrājitena, shining with, were
forgotten in the old translation.
NĀNĀ VIDHAIR AMṚTA SĀRA RASĀYANAIS TAIḤ
KṚṢṆA PRASĀDA MILITAIR IHA BHOJYA PEYAIḤ
HĀ KUṄKUMĀṄGI LALITĀDI SAKHĪVṚTĀ TVAṀ
YATNĀN MAYĀ KIM UTARĀM
UPABHOJANĪYĀ
nānā - various;
vidhaiḥ - kinds; amṛta - nectar; sāra -
essence; rasāyanaiḥ - with elixers; taiḥ - with them; kṛṣṇa - Kṛṣṇa; prasāda -
mercy; militaiḥ - by mixing; iha - here; bhojya - eatables; peyaiḥ -
drinks; hā - O!; kuṅkumāṅgi - girl whose body shines like saffron; lalitā - Lalitā; ādi - and others; sakhī-
girlfriends; vṛtā - surrounded; tvaṁ - You; yatnāt - with care; mayā
- by me; kim u - whether; tarām - more; upabhojanīyā - to be enjoyed.
Old
translation –
New
translation –
O Kuṅkumāṅgi (girl whose body shines like saffron)! When will I carefully serve You the many kinds of remnants left by Kṛṣṇa, that are like an elixir of the quintessence of nectar, mixed with other eatables and drinks, as You sit down, surrounded by Lalitā and other girlfriends?
Explanation - Here also,
kumkum was translated as ‘vermilion’
and not as ‘saffron’. Now it has become ‘girl
whose body shines like saffron’.
Correction in verse 50:
PĀNĀYA VĀRI MADHURAṀ NAVA PĀṬALĀDI
KARPŪRA VĀSITATARAṀ TARALĀKṢI DATTVĀ
KĀLE KADĀ TAVA MAYĀCAMANĪYA DANTA-
KĀṢṬHĀDIKAṀ PRAṆAYATAḤ PARAM ARPAṆĪYAM
pānāya - for drinking; vāri - water; madhuraṁ - sweet; nava -
fresh; pāṭala - rose; ādi - etc.; karpūra - camphor; vāsitataraṁ
- more scented; taralākṣi - girl with
restless eyes; dattvā - having given;
kāle - in time; kadā - when; tava -
Your; mayā - by me; ācamanīya - for washing the mouth; danta - teeth; kāṣṭhā - twig; ādikaṁ -
beginning with; praṇayataḥ - out of
love; param - great; arpaṇīyam - to be offered.
Old translation –
O Taralākṣi (restless eyed girl)! When will the time come when I can offer You sweet drinking water scented with fresh roses and camphor for flushing Your mouth, along with a twig for brushing Your teeth?
New
translation –
O Taralākṣi (restless eyed girl)! When will the time come when I can lovingly offer You sweet drinking water scented with fresh roses and camphor for flushing Your mouth, along with a twig for brushing Your teeth?
Explanation – The word praṇayataḥ (lovingly)
was forgotten in the verse translation.
Corrections in verse 52:
KARPŪRA PŪRA PARIPŪRITA NĀGAVALLĪ
PARṆĀDI PŪGA PARIKALPITA VĪṬIKĀṀ TE
VAKTRĀMBUJE MADHURA GĀTRI MUDĀ KADĀHAṀ
PROTPHULLA ROMA NIKARAIḤ PARAM ARPAYĀMI
karpūra - camphor; pūra - by a flood; paripūrita - filled with; nāgavallī
- betel; parṇa - leaf; ādi - and so; pūga - abundance; parikalpita
- made; vīṭikāṁ - betel nuts; te - Your; vaktra - face; ambuje -
in the lotus; madhura - sweet; gātri - body (fem.); mudā - blissful; kadā -
when; aham - I; protphulla - blossoming; roma
– skin pores; nikaraiḥ - with an
abundance; param - great; arpayāmi - I will offer.
Old
translation –
O Madhura Gātri (sweet-limbed girl)! When will my hair stand on end of ecstasy when I place a betelleaf with camphor, catechu, cloves and guvak into Your lotuslike mouth?
New
translation –
O Madhura Gātri (sweet-limbed girl)! When will my hair stand on end of ecstasy when I place betel nuts mixed with lots of camphor, wrapped in leaves, into Your lotus-like mouth?
Explanation – The ingredients catechu, cloves and guvāk mentioned in the old translation are not in the verse itself but were taken over from the ṭīkā of Bangeśvara Vidyālaṅkāra. They have been deleted. The words pūra and pūga have been translated as ‘lots of’, and distinction has been made between the betel nuts (vīṭikā) and betel leaves (nāga valli). The nuts are wrapped inside the leaves.
Corrections in verse 63:
MĀDHAVĀYA NATA-VAKTRAM ĀDṚTĀ
BHOJYA-PEYA RASA-SAÑCAYAṀ KRAMĀT
TANVATĪ TVAM IHA ROHIṆĪ KARE
DEVI PHULLA-VADANAṀ KADEKṢYASE
mādhavāya - unto Mādhava; nata - lowered; vaktram - face; ādṛta - out of respect; affectionately
or attentively; bhojya -
eatables; peya - drinks; rasa - nectar; sañcayaṁ
- collects large amount; kramāt
- gradually; tanvatī - gives; tvam - You; iha - here; rohiṇī -
Rohiṇī; kare - in the hand; devi - O goddess; phulla -
blooming; vadanaṁ - face; kadā - when; īkṣyase - I
will see.
Old translation –
O Devi, when can I see Your lowered blushing face affectionately looking at Mādhava while You collect all His food and drinks and place them in Rohiṇī's hands?
The words mādhavāya,
ādṛta, rasa, sañcayaṁ, kramāt and phulla
have been reconsidered. mādhavāya, 4th
case, means ‘for Mādhava’. Sanskrit
commentator Bangeśvara Vidyālaṅkāra comments: mādhava tṛpti-janakaṁ - ‘For Mādhava’s satisfaction’. ādṛta can mean ‘with respect’, (sādarā) which She may have for Rohiṇī
but does not really fit with Her feelings towards Mādhava. It also means ‘fondness’
which will fit for Her feelings for Madhava. It also means ‘carefully’ which
will apply to the way She serves the meal. rasa
can mean juice, juicy, tasty or delicious and may relate to the food, sañcaya means heap or large amount, so
this is the word ‘all’. Anantadās Bābāji translates the verse as yathā krame bhojya-peya prabhṛti surasāla
drabyādi yatna-pūrbaka phulla-vadane rohiṇī kare arpaṇa koritecho etc. “In
due course you will, with Your blooming face, attentively place very juicy (or
tasty) eatable and drinkable items into Rohiṇī’s hands.” The word kramāt did not appear in the original
translation. Sanskrit commentator Bangeśvara Vidyālaṅkāra comments: kramāt ādau bhojyaṁ tataḥ peyam ityādy
anukrameṇa “The word ’gradually’ means: first the food and then the
drinks.” Of the many meanings of the adjective phulla, the following are best applicable -
फुल्ल adj. phulla - smiling
फुल्ल adj. phulla - puffed, inflated
फुल्ल adj. phulla - flowery
फुल्ल adj. phulla - beaming
फुल्ल adj. phulla - opened wide
For īkṣyase – ‘I will see’ is better than ‘can
I see’
This makes the new translation –
O Devi, when will
I see Your lowered blossoming face
affectionately looking at Mādhava while You gradually
and carefully place all
His delicious food and drinks in Rohiṇī's hands,
for His satisfaction?
Corrections in verse 64:
BHOJANE GURU-SABHĀSU KATHAÑCIN
MĀDHAVENA NATA-DṚṢṬI MADOTKAM
VĪKṢYAMĀNAM IHA TE MUKHA-PADMAṀ
MODAYIṢYASI KADĀ MADHURE MĀM
bhojane - in eating; guru - of superiors; sabhāsu - in the assembly: kathañcit - somehow; mādhavena - by Mādhava; nata - lowered; dṛṣṭi - glance; mada -
joyful; utkam - eager; vīkṣyamāṇām - being seen; iha - here; te - Your; mukha - face; padmaṁ - lotus; modayiṣyasi - you will gladden; kadā
- when; madhure - O sweet girl!; mām - me.
Old
translation –
New
translation –
Explanation – kathañcit, somehow,
was overlooked and now added, and ‘superiors’ replaced with ‘elders’, which is
more understandable in English.
AYI VIPINAM AṬANTAṀ SAURABHEYĪ KULĀNĀṀ
VRAJA NṚPATI KUMĀRAṀ RAKṢAṆE DĪKṢITAṀ TAM
VIKALA MATI JANANYĀ LĀLYAMĀNAṀ KADĀ TVAṀ
SMITA
MADHURA KAPOLAṀ VĪKṢYASE VĪKṢYAMĀṆĀ
ayi - O!; vipinam - forest; aṭantaṁ - wandering; saurabheyī - of the Surabhī-cows; kulānāṁ - of the herds; vraja - of Vraja; nṛ-pati - king; kumāraṁ - son; rakṣaṇe - for keeping; dīkṣitaṁ - initiated; tam - him; vikala - agitated; mati - heart; jananyā - by mother; lālyamānaṁ - being cuddled; kadā - when; tvaṁ - You; smita - smile; madhura - sweet; kapolaṁ - cheek; vīkṣyase - seeing; vīkṣyamāṇā - being seen.
Old
translation –
When will the prince of Vraja (Kṛṣṇa) glance at You with His smiling face as He goes out to wander in the forest with the Surabhī-cows, in whose care He was initiated, being cuddled by His worried mother?
New
translation –
“O! When will You see the son of the king of Vraja, Kṛṣṇa, with His sweet smiling cheeks while also being seen by Him as He is cuddled by His worried mother because He goes out wandering in the forest to tend His herd of Surabhī-cows, in whose care He was initiated?”
Explanation – The
looking is mutual. Sanskrit commentator Baṅgeśvara Vidyālaṅkāra writes: tvaṁ kadā smita kapolaṁ…taṁ vrajanṛpati
kumāraṁ nandanandanaṁ vīkṣyase drakṣyasītyanvayaḥ. “When will You see the
sweetly smiling cheeks of Nanda-nandana, the prince of Vraja?” ….tvaṁ vīkṣyamāṇā arthāt tena dṛśyamānā “And
you are vīkṣyamāṇā, meaning, seen by
Him (tena).” So the seeing is mutual.
ayi, “O!” was forgotten.
Padakartā
Haripada Śīla writes: se heno nāgara
kṛṣṇa, hoiyā ati sa-tṛṣṇa, he śrī rādhe dekhibe tomāya – “Such a hero Kṛṣṇa,
being very thirsty, O Śrī Rādhe, looks at You….” smita hāsya sudhādhāre, tumi ki dekhibe tāṅre, nanda kula candra
śyāma-rāya “You will look at Nanda-kula-candra śyāma-rāya (Kṛṣṇa)’s smile,
which is a vessel of nectar.” ….duhu
mukha duhu daraśane – “They look at Each other’s faces”
HA RŪPA MAÑJARI SAKHI PRAṆAYENA DEVĪṀ
TVAD BĀHU DATTA BHUJA-VALLARIM ĀYATĀKṢĪM
PAŚCĀD AHAṀ KALITA KĀMA TARAṄGA RAṄGĀṀ
NEṢYĀMI KIṀ HARI-VIBHŪṢITA KELI-KUÑJAM
hā - O!; rūpa mañjari - Rūpa Mañjari; sakhi - girlfriend; praṇayena - with love; devīṁ
- goddess Radhika; tvad - Your; bāhu - arm; datta - given; bhuja
vallarim - vine-like arm; āyata -
wide; akṣīm - eyes (fem.); paścāt - from behind; aham - I; kalita - moved; kāma - of
pure love shown in the form of lust;
taraṅga - waves; raṅgāṁ -
immersed; neṣyāmi - I will take; kiṁ - whether; hari - by Hari; vibhūṣita
- decorated; keli - play; kuñjam - grove.
Old
translation –
New
translation –
Explanation – Commentator
Baṅgeśvara Vidyālaṅkāra says raṅgam
nimajjanam – raṅga means immersing. Anantadās Bābājī says prema sāgare magnāṁ, padakartā Haripada
Śīla says premābdhi taraṅge ḍube,
immersed in an ocean of prema.
Corrections in verse 70:
ŚRUTVĀ VICAKṢAṆA MUKHĀD VRAJARĀJA SŪNOḤ
ŚASTĀBHISĀRA SAMAYAṀ SUBHAGE'TRA HṚṢṬĀ
SŪKṢMĀMBARAIḤ KUSUMA SAṄSKṚTA KARṆAPŪRA
HĀRĀDIBHIŚ CA BHAVATĪṀ KIM ALAṄKARIṢYE
śrutvā - having heard; vicakṣaṇa - Vicakṣaṇa, a parrot; mukhāt - from his mouth; vraja - of Vraja; rāja - king; sūnoḥ - of
the son; śasta - excellent; abhisāra - rendez-vous; samayaṁ - the time; subhage - O beautiful girl;
atra - here; hṛṣṭā - joyful; sūkṣma - fine; ambaraiḥ - with garments; kusuma
- flowers; saṅskṛta - created; karṇapūra - earrings; hārādibhiḥ - with necklaces and so on; ca - and; bhavatīṁ - You; kim -
whether; alaṅkariṣye - will decorate.
Old
translation –
New
translation –
Explanation – The word
‘noon-time’ is not in the Sanskrit text; this verse can apply also to
Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa’s nakta-abhisāra,
nocturnal meeting. Kṛṣṇa ‘going out’ is not in the text either, and the word ‘samayam’ was not included in the old
translation – it is time for His meeting.
Correction in verse 71 -
NĀNĀ PUṢPAIR KVAṆITA MADHUPAIR DEVI
SAṀBHĀVITĀBHIR
MĀLĀBHIS TAD GHUSṚṆA VILASAT KĀMA-CITRĀLIBHIŚ CA
RĀJAD DVĀRE SAPADI MADANĀNANDADĀBHIKHYA GEHE
MALLĪ-JĀTAIḤ ŚAŚIMUKHI KADĀ TALPAM ĀKALPAYĀMI
nānā - various; puṣpaiḥ - with flowers; kvaṇita - resounding; madhupaiḥ - by bumblebees; devi - O Goddess!; sambhāvitābhiḥ - filled; mālābhiḥ - with garlands; tad - that; ghusṛṇa - saffron; vilasat - shining; kāma - erotic; citrālibhiḥ - with pictures; ca - and; rājad - glistening; dvāre - on the gate; sapadi - at the time; madana - Cupid; ānandada - giving joy; ābhikhya - known as; gehe - in the house; mallī - jasmines; jātaiḥ - abundance; śaśimukhi - moonfaced girl; kadā - when; talpam - bed; ākalpayāmi - I will make.
Old
translation -
O Śaśimukhi (moonfaced girl)! O Devi (goddess)! When will I make a bed of Jasmine-flowers for You in the cottage in Madanānandada-kuñja (the grove which gives joy to Cupid) which has beautiful gates and erotic vermilion pictures hanging in it, hung with garlands made of various flowers surrounded by humming bees?
New
translation -
Explanation - It was
"erotic vermilion pictures" but now "lust-inciting pictures
drawn in saffron." Here also the word ghusṛṇa
is used, which means ‘saffron’, not ‘vermilion’.
Correction in verse 76 -
SAROVARA LASAT TAṬE MADHUPA GUÑJI KUÑJĀNTARE
SPHUṬAT KUSUMA SAṄKULE VIVIDHA PUṢPA SAṄGHAIR
MUDĀ
ARIṢṬA-JAYINĀ KADĀ TAVA VARORU BHŪṢĀVIDHIR
VIDHĀSYATA IHA PRIYAṀ MAMA SUKHĀBDHIM ĀTANVATĀ
sarovara - lake; lasat - shining; taṭe - on the bank; madhupa
- bee; guñji - humming; kuñja - grove; antare - inside; sphuṭat -
blooming; kusuma - flower; saṅkule - multitude; vividha - various kinds; puṣpa
- flowers; saṅghaiḥ - with a
multitude; mudā - blissfully; ariṣṭa-jayinā - by the victor over
Ariṣṭa; kadā - when; tava - Your; vara uru - excellent thighs; bhūṣā
- ornaments; vidhiḥ - by means of; vidhāsyata - will be done; iha - here; priyaṁ - beloved; mama -
my; sukha - bliss; abdhim - ocean; ātanvata - expanding.
Old
translation -
New
translation -
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